"Love And/Or Marriage" is the fifth episode of Season 3 of the Netflix original series BoJack Horseman. Season 3 premiered on July 22, 2016.
Todd Chavez arrives at BoJack Horseman house and wakes him up. He tells him that Secretariat has been released. This makes Bojack stressed because he's afraid of failure. Princess Carolyn calls him and tells him that the movie is a huge success. Todd asks him how he feels and Bojack says he feels awesome. Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane Nguyen are at therapy. The therapist tells Diane that for next time she has to focus on putting her feelings into words. Judah Mannowdog walks into Princess Carolyn's office and tells her that he's settled on a dental plan. He asks Princess Carolyn for a stake in the company and she says okay. He also tells her that she has a night off tonight so she tells him to get her three dates because she doesn't know when her next day off will be.
Bojack and Todd go to Hotel Kangroosevelt to have drinks. There Todd runs into Emily. Emily tells Bojack that she loved "The Bojack Horseman Show" and that she's here for a rehearsal dinner. Bojack tells Todd that they should crash it. Diane tells Mr. Peanutbutter that it's hard for her to talk about her feelings. That she didn't have the support growing up like he did. She gets a text from Alexi Brosefino and how he wants her to party with him that night so that she can take Instagram pictures. She agrees to go despite Mr. Peanutbutter wanting to just stay in and cuddle. Princess Carolyn learns that Judah got her the three dates. She asks him to reschedule two of them because she was joking but he says it's going to be a really long time until she gets another day off.
Bojack crashes Emily's friend's wedding party. Diane shows up at Alexi's house. She's introduced to the Snatch Batch. Princess Carolyn is on a date that's going nowhere. Bojack says a speech at the wedding. Todd and Emily catch up. Diane takes drugs with the Snatch Batch. Princess Carolyn is on her second date. She's dating a gynecologist who tells her that she's too old to have kids. This upsets Princess Carolyn. Emily and Todd are working on a project when Emily asks if Todd has a girlfriend. He says no and Emily says that she isn't seeing anyone either. Bojack walks over and gives Todd his room key so that they can go check the bed. This freaks Todd out who says that he's going to get a few more drinks. One of the brides makes a speech about how she's unsure she wants to get married anymore and calls the wedding off. Everyone blames Bojack because he mentioned in his speech that "when you know, you know" and the bride obviously didn't know.
Alexi's friends bring up how Alexi texted a woman named Diane and told her to come to the party. Diane says that wouldn't it have been funny if he'd accidentally texted her when he meant someone else. She realizes that that's what happened and leaves just as the drugs she took start to kick in. Alexi chases after her and tries to convince her to stay but she says she has to go home to her husband. Princess Carolyn is about ready to give up when a mouse arrives. He's her next date. His name is Ralph Stilton and they actually hit it off. Everyone is crying at the rehearsal dinner. The father of the bride pleads with Bojack to talk to the bride and convince her to change her mind. Todd and Emily are at the hotel room but Todd turns Emily away and decides just to go to bed. Ralph and Princess Carolyn walk to her car. He gives her his card and kisses her on the cheek.
Bojack walks into the bathroom where Taniesha is hiding. She says that she loves Karen but does she complete her. Bojack says that she should just settle because one day she'll realize that everyone loves her but nobody likes her and that's the loneliest feeling in the world. This convinces Taniesha to marry Karen. Mr. Peanutbutter listens to Diane as she tells him that she loves him and that he's good for her. She tries to carry him to their room but they both end up falling over. Princess Carolyn arrives at her office to find Judah there working. She sits down and starts to fill out some holiday cards. Todd lays on the bed in the hotel room all alone. Emily meets with Bojack at the bar. Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter are at the hospital when they learn that Diane is pregnant.
|Will Arnett||...||BoJack Horseman|
|Amy Sedaris||...||Princess Carolyn|
|Alison Brie||...||Diane Nguyen|
|Paul F. Tompkins||...||Mr. Peanutbutter|
|Aaron Paul||...||Todd Chavez|
|Lorraine Bracco||...||Dr. Janet|
|Raúl Esparza||...||Ralph Stilton|
|Dave Franco||...||Alexi Brosefino|
|Patton Oswalt||...||David / Pig Doctor|
- "I was thinking about what BoJack said before, about how when you know, you know.And I'm sitting there, and I'm thinking, "Do I know?" - Uh - I mean, I think I know. But if you know when you know and I only think that I know, maybe that means that I don't know, right?"
- "Nobody completes anybody. That's not a real thing. If you're lucky enough to find someone you can halfway tolerate, sink your nails in and don't let go, no matter what."
- "Yes, thank you, exactly. Settle. Because otherwise you're just gonna get older, and harder, and more alone. And you're gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn't get filled. One day, you're gonna look around and you're going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you... And that is the loneliest feeling in the world."